Murphy's Law at the National Security Agency

Five years ago the National Security Agency (NSA) once again released David Boak's History of U.S. Communications Security, this time almost completely unredacted. A most interesting document with lectures about various crypto topics, but at the very end there's a chapter titled "Murphy’s Law", and it's a fun read.

Communications security compasses extensive technical requirements and procedures that must be followed. It’s a huge challenge for NSA to draw up regulations that cover all possible safety risks. They do their best, but no matter how hard you try, there’s always Murphy's law.

Some security violations, no jokes but actual incidents, ended up in the COMSEC lectures. They even kept records of security violations, publicized them and ran contests to see what organization could go longest without violation. I won't reveal how they end, you'll have to read it yourself, and there are more stories to discover...

They once suspected the unauthorized use of crypto materials, and a TOP SECRET key list was examined for fingerprints in their chemical lab. They placed the key list on a bench underneath a powerful ventilation system and, you guessed, the key list got sucked up and disappeared. They quickly dispatched some people to the roof to inspect the exit of the duct, but no secret key list. Flown away or stuck somewhere in the hundreds of feet of ducting?

NSA, we have a problem! A small step for man, one giant violation for COMSEC.

NSA had a warehouse in Fort Holabird where they stored a lot of crypto material. The warehouse was fenced and protected by armed guards. One evening, a man was detected inside the fence. The guard shouted “Halt!” but the man climbed over the fence and escaped. The guard could not shoot him, and the reason? You won’t believe.

There’s also the story of one-time tapes, produced by NSA. These punched tapes inevitably produced huge amounts of waste product, tiny round pieces of paper. These chads were collected in burn bags. Some genius had the brilliant idea to give that confetti to high school kids for use at football games. That resulted in a school girls’ father emergency destroying and flushing TOP SECRET keys.

A technical team once had to do a sweep of a Naval Security Station to trace suspected wiring. The inspector opened a floor access plate to examine telephone wiring. He saw a wire that was moving, so he quickly grabbed the wire and pulled it out a few feet, but then the wire began to fight back. What the hell was going on?

Want to know how the incidents ended? These and other Murphy stories at History of U.S. COMSEC Volume I and II, from page 55 (pdf p313), hosted on Governmentattic.org. Don't forget there's also a lot of interesting crypto related information in that document.

If you're in for more fun with crypto equipment, do visit Jerry Proc's Crypto Humour page. with real stories from the fringes of communications security. Jerry hosts the excellent Crypto Machines website with extensive information about countless crypto devices.